More editing

You may do the following individually or in groups: By Monday, February 4th, look at the following student essay make any needed comments or corrections. As before, you'll have time in class to compare notes and then we'll discuss it as a group.

1. Copy edit it looking for:
   
1. run-on sentences
2. fragments
3. Missing or misused apostrophes
4. Commas, especially after prepositional phrases or before coodinators
   
5. Subject-verb agreement issues
6. Any sentence that is grammatically or or hard to understand
2. Make suggestions on overall structure:
1. suggest removing anything that is off topic
2. suggest alternative points
3. where there is no clear transition from one point to the next, suggest some link or a more logical order
3. Make suggestions about support
1. Note where support is lacking
2. Note where support is given but it is inappropriate

Education: Good Grades, Bad System

Since the beginning of time academics such as Leonardo Da Vinci and Socrates proved to be ahead of their time with the inventions and philosophies of the world. They always opted for free universal education so everyone may better understand the way things work and grow. Back then as now education was reserved for only the privileged. The upper class who society felt deserved to know the workings of the world. Regarding the current aspect of education there are only two types of students who are able to go to post secondary education, students that can afford the fees and students who are geniuses or athletic stars and receive scholarships for the academic or athletic capability. College and university education should be available to all who wish to learn, not just those with good grades.

Children and the elderly are the two least important peoples in societys eyes. This is for the reason that they do not fit into the category of what is known as a “productive citizen”. Meaning that someone who is considered meaningful to society is one that makes contributions (makes money and puts it back into the economy). At this point in time there are high prerequisites for a great deal of jobs. Certain degrees that can only be obtain by going to college or university. However there are also strict prerequisites to get into these facilities. You generally need good grades to be accepted into school but also must have the money to pay for the education. The government does not comprehend the fact that if education was more open and everyone, even people with not so good grades but were eager to learn could make a huge difference in society. There would be more doctors, nurses, lawyers, social workers and much more. There should be no restriction regarding grades or money, that’s unfair and unjust.

As a child I never had to fight for anything like food, shelter, clothes or protection from family. There are more children in this country then can be fathomed that deal with these issues day in and day out. Trapped in a vicious cycle with little incentive to break free from what they know best. Education is the key for all people to empower themselves. It would serve to be a great incentive for kids and teens that are trapped in domestic violence and poverty. These factors generally inhibit and discourage from even choosing to try and achieve a higher form of education, the fact that there are other factors like money and grade prerequisites are not even fathomable to these young adults.

My father came to Canada from Scotland by demand from several companies requesting his expertise in his area. When he came he was treated as if he was a refugee, they required numerous references and prerequisites and even made him take further courses just to work here. Immigrants have potential to be extremely beneficial to certain countries that lack people for a certain area of expertise. However in Canada we have an overwhelming amount of immigrants in schools based on the fact that they can pay the doubled tuition. There are very few programs that offer a generous scholarship offer for people coming from another country. There are tests and more prerequisites set in place to ensure that they only allow “smart” kids into the schools. This takes away from the kids who perhaps learn in a different way then what is taught or tested. People with intellect but cannot excel at tests or have the financial support cannot receive a formal college or university education, this takes away from the amount of productive citizens we could have in society.

Education should be free for everyone. The opportunity to learn should be available to anyone regardless of income, color, home country, domestic situation and grades. Iran has free college and university education and they are expanding at an astonishing rate because there are very few restricting factors which inhibit anyone from achieving a higher form of knowledge. That should be a shining example of how this country is suffocating people who could potentially save lives one day, find a cure for illness or even speed up the line at the DMV. College and university education should not only be for people with good grades, but for everyone.